CAUGHT ON THE WRONG FOOT
A guy asked his Dad to get him a bike.
Dad got angry and asked "Why has God given you two legs?"
Guy answered "One to apply brake and other to change gears"
H2O
There is a similarity between a woman's tears and Cauvery water...
Both will come in less quantities but will create big problems.
MIXED BAG
Smugglers and thieves would never use "shoulder bags".
Because... athu "maatikira" pai (a bag which gets caught - in Tamil)
NAMES & TAGS
An "outstanding" student never stands outside the class.
A "promising" cricketer never lights camphor to prove it.
A "fast moving" mosquito coil is branded "tortoise".
FAST AND FURIOUS
Wife gives a hint to husband to buy a car saying
"Darling... get me something which goes from 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when I am on it"
Husband gifted her a "Weighing Machine"
PARROT & PEACOCK
What is the difference between Parrot & Peacock?
Parrot is "Josiya" Paravai (Astrological Bird)
Peacock is "Desiya" Paravai (National Bird)
HAZARDS OF FASHION
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans.
Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
PREDICTION FOR A FROG
One day a Frog asked an astrologer "what's my future?"
Astrologer said "a beautiful girl will touch every part of your body".
Excited frog asked "When, where and how?"
Astrologer replied - "next month in BIO PRACTICALS"
OLD STUDENT
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!'
SELECTIVE MEMORY
A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:
Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!
PATHETIC SERIAL
Husband is watching tv and crying....
Wife: Why are you crying? which serial ur watching?
Husband: its not serial its our marriage CD....
EXPIRY DATE
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date
A guy asked his Dad to get him a bike.
Dad got angry and asked "Why has God given you two legs?"
Guy answered "One to apply brake and other to change gears"
H2O
There is a similarity between a woman's tears and Cauvery water...
Both will come in less quantities but will create big problems.
MIXED BAG
Smugglers and thieves would never use "shoulder bags".
Because... athu "maatikira" pai (a bag which gets caught - in Tamil)
NAMES & TAGS
An "outstanding" student never stands outside the class.
A "promising" cricketer never lights camphor to prove it.
A "fast moving" mosquito coil is branded "tortoise".
FAST AND FURIOUS
Wife gives a hint to husband to buy a car saying
"Darling... get me something which goes from 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when I am on it"
Husband gifted her a "Weighing Machine"
PARROT & PEACOCK
What is the difference between Parrot & Peacock?
Parrot is "Josiya" Paravai (Astrological Bird)
Peacock is "Desiya" Paravai (National Bird)
HAZARDS OF FASHION
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans.
Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
PREDICTION FOR A FROG
One day a Frog asked an astrologer "what's my future?"
Astrologer said "a beautiful girl will touch every part of your body".
Excited frog asked "When, where and how?"
Astrologer replied - "next month in BIO PRACTICALS"
OLD STUDENT
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!'
SELECTIVE MEMORY
A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:
Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!
PATHETIC SERIAL
Husband is watching tv and crying....
Wife: Why are you crying? which serial ur watching?
Husband: its not serial its our marriage CD....
EXPIRY DATE
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date
